Help will never come for Veterans 2-03-08

Help will never come for Veterans 2-03-08
Written by Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
I live in two worlds. The one life that I learned in the effort to survive back here in the “world” U.S. The other is the rent less belief’s and acts from my memories serving this nation that continuously spin in my head. My ability to camouflage to protect society from ever learning what a dangerous person that I am. Am I dangerous or is that a title bestowed on me by society to limit my ability to do what I have learned is the obligation of every U.S. citizen. I was a teenager, high school drop out, young adult, it does not matter because only 11% of the U.S. citizens will serve in the Military. I went off to a conflict or war only to loose my innocents and my right to return to a society that does not want to understand. I am any U.S. military Veteran but this particular one is a United States Marine.
I have no memory of my life prior to Marine Corps Boot camp. I have a Traumatic Brain Injury. The pain in my head and body is a relentless reminder that I need to be punished for what my life has done to civilized society, for your freedom. I sit here today trying to believe that I could have been a better person if I did not leave high school at 17 to join the Marine Corps. For years it was drilled in to my head to kill with out mercy. To deflect caring or emotions to complete the mission. Lives were expendable as long as the mission was successful. Then one day I returned to the World (U.S.) and the MC dropped me into society with no support.
Years after discharge only because I mailed a copy of my medical records home did the Veterans Administration label me a 100% disabled Veteran. I have three separate injuries, two from separate combat support missions. Substandard medical care has allowed me to drift through the years. I can not be sorry for my life because the VA has provided me with money to live on. I have had a great life compared to what the VA has done to other Veterans.
I sit here today alone crying. Yes a U.S. Marine with tears in his eyes. I have no reason to be this way. It has continuously happen in the recent months. I ask my self is the people that call themselves my mother, father, brothers and sister really related to me. Did I really grow up in New Hampshire. Am I a test case to see if the military can develop people with no memory to think to their standards. I have to wonder if I will even remember what I do today. I write this letter because writing helps me tolerate being in a world that I do not belong. I remember some events and others I forget.
My VA medical was stopped because NH elected officials wanted to control my free speech. What the hell are we fighting for? These are the words I remember from my days over there. Don’t feel sorry for me. It is not necessary. I never quite under stood what reality is or if reality even exists. I live in two worlds. I am one of the lucky ones. I came back alive. Is it to late? Which world is real?
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi